“Headed out?” my mom asked me as I poured myself some coffee. The sun shone brightly in through the window, so I had to adjust my eyes to her face before I could answer.
“Yeah, I have to run a few errands.” The smell of fresh coffee wafted up to my nose and nearly sent me into a full blown daze right then and there. I was tired and stumbling, but considering where I was actually headed today, I didn’t think anyone could blame me for not being able to sleep.
“In that outfit?”
I looked down to my outfit choice following my mother’s accusatory tone, but I found very few faults in it. Yes, it was nice, but I wasn’t sure what to expect from this outing. I figured it was better to dress up as opposed to dress down to the bum I used to be.
“I didn’t think it was that nice,” I muttered, mixing creamer and sugar in the coffee. I hastily put a lid on it and grabbed my purse to go, but my mom hesitantly grabbed my arm.
“You know you can tell me anything,” she insisted. Her earnest teal eyes that were so similar to mine bore into me, but I was a little surprised to notice the glimmer of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. What was she finding so amusing?
“I know,” I said slowly, raising the burning coffee to my mouth. I took a big sip in order to break up the closeness, but all that did was burn my tongue and send me into a small fit of pain. In a hasty and regrettable moment, I spit the coffee up on the counter and immediately went to grab a paper towel and clean it up. This action, however, prolonged my stay at home and, therefore, within talking distance of my mom.
“Well, I mean, you’re fairly dressed up for running errands.” She threw some obscene air quotes around this part that made me do a double take. Did she…did she think I was-
“Mom, I’m not going on a date, if that’s what you’re implying. “ Her face fell immediately.
“Well, are you sure? You’re so dressed up for this early in the morning, and I was just hoping that it was a man…or maybe a job?” She looked so hopeful, but rather than feeling encouragement, I simply felt…well, annoyed, to be honest.
“I don’t need a boyfriend,” I said indignantly, wiping up the mess.
“I never said you did-“
“And it hasn’t even been three months since I lost my baby, broke up with my boyfriend, and not to mention it’s hardly been four years since the previous ordeal. Can’t I just…I don’t know, detox? For a little while?”
I stared at her until she responded, with an impatient expression on my face and a cool tone in my voice. When she replied, I threw the dirty paper towels into the trash and attempted to salvage what was left of my coffee.
“If I start dating someone, I’ll tell you. Does that make you feel better?”
“No, sweetheart,” she said quickly, dismissing my question. “It’s nothing like that…I trust that you’d be honest with me. I just don’t want you to feel like you’re…stuck, or something. Do you know what I mean? I mean, it took me so long and so much drama to get with your father, but the decision to be with him has made the past 33 years of my life so wonderful.” A blissful expression captivated her face. I cocked an eyebrow and rolled my eyes at her.
“Thanks a lot mom, seriously, but I think I’m good for now.” I thought briefly of Denis but then shook away the feelings that came rushing in with that. That was all over now. He wanted nothing to do with me because I lied.
“What about…would you mind if I set you up with someone?” I rolled my eyes again, which empowered her to keep going. “No, I mean, my old friend from my challenge days has a son who is single, like you. She wants to see if you’d be interested in going out with him-“
“Mom,” I sighed, frustrated. My purse was once again slung over my shoulder as I prepared to leave. I needed to get out of here. “I don’t need another blind date. Please.”
“Well, what if it’s someone you know? I heard from someone who heard from someone else that Denis…Levi, was it? Well, I heard he’s back from duty and has really grown into his face and body. Y’know, you two kids were pretty close when you were younger…didn’t you even go on a date once when you were sixteen?” I hadn’t realized it, but with every word she said my hand gripped the coffee tighter and tighter and tighter until it was about one more comment away from bursting. My other hand wouldn’t stop shaking. “Maybe you should give him a call-“
The coffee gave way to my hand and exploded all over the floor around me. I stared straight at my mom until I was sure the burning had stopped hurting and my heart had stopped beating so rapidly. Then, in a decisive moment that I was sure I’d regret later, I placed the scalding, half-empty coffee on the table and left the house.
–
Half an hour later, as I sat in my car in front of the park with a coffee from the local shop in my hand, I wondered why I’d been in such a rush to get out of the house. Compared to what I was about to have to do, I would’ve taken my mother’s prying in a heartbeat. I watched the park entrance so intently that when my phone finally buzzed in my pocket, I nearly dropped my coffee again. I muttered obscenities as I reached for it. This was becoming a messy habit.
here.
The text was so simple, but it said so much. In one word, I was taking a full step backwards and into the door of my past. Meeting with Kristy would set everything I’d worked so hard to forget back in motion. And since there was no turning back and I was shaking wildly, I figured it best to leave my coffee in the car this time.
Fresh air, while supposedly refreshing and rejuvenating, only made me sick as I stepped out of my car and set foot on to the freshly-mowed grass. The trees, which normally offered protection from the sunlight and a beautiful view, only mirrored the darkness building up inside me. And the sky, while typically bright, blue and encouraging, did a fairly good job making me feel like it was crashing down around me.
Nature, as it seemed, was not my thing today.
Once I’d found my way to an empty bench in the park, I found it easy to pass the time. I listened intently to the cries of joy and happiness coming from early-morning tots, the gentle chatter of a part-time dog walker on the phone, and ecstatic stay-at-home moms gossiping in the distance. All of these things, I thought happily, were normal sounds. These were things I’d appreciate and turn to for grounding once I was with company today.
“Valerie?”
It looked like my company had finally arrived.
“Kristy.” I said her name with a sigh, like I knew how this conversation was going to go. For all I knew she was a messenger, here to relay news to me that I was being requested to come back after all these years. Or, perhaps, Shane was already here stalking me and waiting for a time to come out and drug me and bring me back with him. A park, however, probably wasn’t the best place for any of these scenarios. So what did she want to see me about?
She sat down next to me and looked down at her hands. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, you’re telling me,” I said after a few moments of debating my choice of words. Silence quickly followed, giving me a brief moment to assess her appearance.
Kristy looked much more aged and filled out than she had in her sixteen-year-old frame that I’d originally known her as. Her skin looked cleaner, more lived in, and most definitely darker. Her eyes, while they were once dark, eyeliner-rimmed and brooding, now simply held a hint of kindness and most definitely sobriety. Her outfit wasn’t as nice as mine, which made me feel a bit like a showoff, but it was definitely a step up from what I remembered. Overall, she looked healthy, which was…unexpected. There was also something else different that I couldn’t quite place, but I figured it’d come to me eventually.
“You look good, Kristy. Like really good. I almost…well, I almost didn’t recognize you.” There was no nice way to say it, and I figured it best to head into troubled waters now to get it over with. It had to be said.
“You too.” She looked back down at her hands, then nervously over to me.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked shyly, wanting to make her feel comfortable. She was around four or five years younger than me, and I knew that nervous look anywhere. It was the same one I held when I was her age.
“Nothing, it’s just…” I met her eyes, urging her to continue. “Well, I left the club.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead.” This time she met my eyes, and I could tell how much this decision troubled her. I suppose I was the only one who she could really talk to about it…as far as I was concerned, I was the only woman to successfully get out of the club.
“How long ago?”
“About two months ago. I…I’ve been trying so hard to do what you probably did. Y’know, get a job, boyfriend, move on. I tried, but I can’t. I’m running out of money, and I think…well, I’m thinking of going back.”
My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know why, but I felt protective of her. We’d bonded effortlessly when were younger, and since I was never an older sibling…well, this was my “younger sister.”
“Don’t do that.”
“But what else can I do?!” she tried to argue.
“You can get a job.” I decided that it wouldn’t be a very good idea to mention that I still didn’t have a job and had been mooching off my boyfriend and family for the past five years. No, not a good idea at all.
“With what skills?” she pouted. “For the past seven years, my best skill has been my flexibility! I don’t think I’m going to get too far with that in the job market.” She seemed so helpless, so I decided to offer my hypocritical advice, which I assumed was better than nothing.
“Well, do you have family you could stay with?”
She looked down and shrugged. “My mom…died.” I winced, remembering that I knew that. How could I be so insensitive? “And I don’t know who my father is. So…I guess not.”
Well, that was, like, half of my advice gone down the drain.
“Do you have any idea of what you could pursue?”
Kristy seemed to ponder this for a moment. Then her face brightened and she looked up excitedly. “Well, I’ve always loved acting. The girls at the club always said that I had to have a gift for sleeping with all those unattractive, gross rich men who wandered my way. They said I looked absolutely in love with them.” She paused, biting her lip as she gauged my reaction. “Do you think I could be an actress?”
Considering I was in no place to turn her down, I slowly began nodding my head. “I…I could see that.”
“Really?”
“Um, yeah! I think so.”
“Oh, Valerie, thank you so much!” she squealed. She showed more emotion in those few words than I’d ever seen from her, which clued me in to just how she was, and just how young I had been when I thought I was all grown up. Time encouraged reminiscing, and all I had to say about those years was simple: I was more naïve than a lion attempting to domesticate in the suburbs.
She hugged me tightly and then stood up. She let out a huge grin as she looked down at me.
“Y’know,” she noted, stretching her arm. “You’re somewhat of a celebrity down at the club.”
“Celebrity?” I tried to hide my confusion with a question.
“Us girls? We look up to you like a role model.”
“Most of the women in that place were years older than me…” I looked down as I tried to process this strange addition of information. Who’d of known? Valerie Masons, role model.
“Doesn’t mean we don’t look up to you. Since you left, so did one other girl, but I didn’t know how to reach her. I only found you because someone mentioned that you lived in the area.”
“Well I’m glad you did.”
I stood up as well, and we looked to one another with pleased countenances. And that’s when I realized something.
“How much money do you have exactly?”
She looked down, worried.
“You can tell me how bad it is. Trust me, I’ve done some…pretty bad things to get money. Just tell me how much.”
“Like, $40.”
“Out of the hundreds you made?” She looked embarrassed. “What did you do with all that money?” No response. “Kristy, tell me or I can’t help y-”
“I spent it on a boob job right before I quit, okay?” Oh, so that was the one difference I couldn’t quite place earlier. Huh. “The girls said it would increase my income, but then I quit, and now it’s just one huge mess…I’d take it back if I could.”
Sighing, I reached into my bag and pulled out my wallet. I leafed through the bills until I had $400 in my hand. I barely knew her, but I knew her position, and that was all I needed. I held it in front of me. To my surprise, Kristy stared down at it, and when I pushed it more her way, she backed away a bit.
“You don’t owe me anything,” she said earnestly. “I wanted to meet with you to see how you’re doing and get some advice. I don’t…I didn’t want your money.”
“No, I don’t owe you anything. About that, you’re right.” I picked up her closed palm, opened it, and put the money on top of it. “But for me to feel like you’ll be alright, I need you to take this, okay?” She looked so nervous, so I closed her palm for her, solidifying the transfer of money. “This is yours now. You’re going to use it to go to an audition or two and buy some clothes that make your boob job look good.” She laughed out loud, crisp and clear. Finally, I felt like we were like everyone else in this park…just two friends catching up, not two ex-strippers, one with a new boob job and the other with a foggy head, discussing old times. I liked normality. “Oh, and also?” I muttered, reaching into my bag and pulling out a strip of paper and a pen. I scrawled my number on it and handed it to her. “Call my cell if you ever need anything again, or just want to talk. My mom was awfully confused last time you called.”
“…mom?”
Shit. There went my zen-like, masterful wisdom and advice about moving on and being independent.
“Um, yeah. I’m staying at home for a little while…uh, family issues and stuff. But seriously,” I continued, attempting to change the subject, “call me whenever. I’m here for you, okay?”
She smiled, gently placing the paper in her back pocket. “You got it. And thanks again.”
I smiled, gave her one last hug, and began to walk away. As I did, she called over her shoulder one last thing.
“And Valerie?”
“Yeah?”
“You seem really happy.”
I smiled, turning and continuing on my way. I wasn’t all the way there yet, but today? Today I was happier than the day before, and maybe tomorrow would be better than today. It was slow, yes, but the transformation was happening.
And maybe, just maybe, the next step would be a boyfriend.
But I decided against telling my mom that revelation.
LOVE IT
🙂
You see this face? It’s a happy face! Loved the post! Kristy looks great! And thank you for not letting it spiral down into bad luck again!
Step 1: relationship with mom: COMPLETE 🙂
Step 2: boyfriend: COMMENCING
*puts on shades* Let’s do this.
I am glad you have a happy face!! 😀
And no problem! Haha, I figured that at least someone should have a bright(ish) looking future. It was really fun to bring Kristy back!
Let’s go do this! ❤
GREAT JOB! I’m so happy for Kristy! She made it! VAL HAS STARTED A REVOLUTION! LIKE KATNISS EVERDEEN OF THE STRIP-CLUB! or something like that…
ok, maybe that was a little wierd sounding.
Oh well!
Great Job! Update soon!
PS. Message to Val: Try again w/ Denis! You might be surprised!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Yes, Valerie Masons: the Katniss Everdeen of the strip club. Not weird at all. c;
I will update soon for sure!
Val: “Uh, erm, I…I don’t think that’d, uh, work out very…well. Sorry?”
It is the first time I here and I loved the new chapter. I’m happy for Kristy, but do not know their history very well.
A two generation question: why is it so long? 38 chapters?
First of all, thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. I’m happy you took time out of your day to let me know your thoughts. (:
As for your second question, I am aware: this generation is long in comparison to the first. This time around, I tackled a lot more in terms of character developments and situations. Whereas in the first generation I had over a year to develope Amber’s personality in her baby challenge and then quickly pop out two more babies, I have had to make some serious adjustments for this generation, and it’s been a learning process. Valerie didn’t have a baby challenge, so I suppose it’s taking a bit longer.
Once again, thanks so much for asking. I’m happy to answer any other questions you have.
Any ideas when Chapter 21`s comin` out cuz I can`t wait hun
That’s a sticky situation…busy beyond belief, but I will try!
Thanks hon
I hope you`re enjoying your summer